Drugs Killed & Stole

The death drugs that sucked the life out of Matthew, simultaneously stole the delightful details of his 22 year life from my consciousness. The trauma of his multiple overdoses and tragic death took over the main stage of my emotions. For a year this brash intruder made it impossible for me to savor the good times, the accomplishments and reflect on all the reasons I was proud of my son. My thoughts kept going back to the battle with addiction, his brushes with death and finally finding him in the upstairs washroom cold and stiff at 5:30 AM.

How soon will it be before I can open the photo albums, look through the box of memorabilia or write about some of the fun times? I do feel there is some freedom on the horizon. The perpetual gloom cloud has lifted. It’s been replaced by a more cognitive awareness of Matt’s absence accompanied by occasional tears —or complete meltdowns. Perhaps with spells of grief less frequent, I’ll soon be ready to take back the emotional stage with scenes of Matt’s best times and hopefully capture them in writing before these precious memories fade from view.