My God Story

Prologue: Earlier this year in the process of becoming a member of the church we have been a part of for over five years, I was asked to write out my “God Story.” What a valuable exercise! It was great to review with gratitude all that God has done in my life. I hope it is just as encouraging to you.

My God Story

As a pastor’s kid, I grew up in church, hearing the Word of God preached and taught. Additionally, I was encouraged to memorize a tremendous amount of scripture. This was all a valuable gift. It led me to trust Christ for salvation before age 11. Subsequently, I was baptized and joined the church. I did everything I knew to be a faithful disciple, witness, and servant of Christ all through my teen years.

But, by my early twenties I had become quite aware that I had a homosexual orientation. And although at the time I didn’t see it as related, my faith had simultaneously disappeared. I became agnostic and asked for my church membership to be revoked.

I never stopped attending church. Actually, I considered it a valuable social opportunity. Also, I still considered the morality of Christianity to be practically beneficial and was happy to have the opportunity to continue “ministering” in music at another church. In retrospect, I believe God kept me in a kind of protective bubble as I continued my friendships and connections with Christians. I’m so thankful for the loving acceptance I experienced through those years.

But a breakthrough came when I was twenty-seven and attended a revival meeting at my dad’s church. The guest preacher spoke of God’s three deadlines. I was keenly aware that God was speaking to me and that I didn’t want this opportunity to pass without responding to His call to repentance from my unbelief. So, I went to the front when an invitation was given. It turns out, I was one of 50 people who made professions of faith that night.

Later, I found out that many of the singles, including my future wife,  spent a whole night together praying for God to move and save people in these evangelistic meetings. And furthermore, they had prayed explicitly for me. Thank you Lord for answering their prayers!

I left that meeting with a joy that I’d never experienced in my life. All my endless questions, heaviness and  doubts were gone. Not only had my heart changed, but God went on to rearrange everything in my life over the next few years. I gave up hiding my business income from the government, quit idolizing my photography hobby and most significantly, gave up my pursuit of becoming a professional singer, which freed me to dedicate my talent wholly to the worship of God and edification of fellow believers, which I did with great passion and satisfaction.

It was in that context the Lord opened up the opportunity for me to pursue a romantic relationship with a godly young woman. And it was that pursuit, validated and encouraged by all my spiritual mentors, that blossomed into my 33-year marriage with Terri. To this unlikely marriage, God added the blessing of three adopted children and two grandchildren.

But lest you think it was all smooth sailing from the time I turned to follow Christ, I need to say we had a 10-year period where there was one trial or heartache after another and even on top of one another. It included challenges with our children and betrayal from both the church and my family. All this was intertwined with three fatal tragedies, the last of which was the death of our 22-year-old son Matthew from an accidental fentanyl overdose, now five years ago.

Can I say “Praise God!” for these trials? Yes! But, only after a lot of tears, many nights when I couldn’t sleep and a long spell of chronic, energy-draining anxiety. Today, by God’s  grace, I am able to say my heart is more than half-way healed. I thank God for giving the wisdom, patience and perseverance needed in the middle of the trials. And I am grateful to Him for the comfort, healing and peace that I have experienced since the storms have passed.