It’s natural to think “no pain, no problem.” The fallacy of that notion is that it may be overlooking the pain differential. Often those who cause pain to others are unaware of the negative effects of their actions and therefore clueless to the pain someone else is feeling as a result of their actions. So, the one who feels the pain knows there’s a problem, but the perpetrator who feels no pain, thinks everything is fine. Even worse, in many cases the perpetrator is benefiting from the situation, so they are more than pain free. They are happy!
So when the one who was imposed upon to give the already advantaged a greater advantage, or the one who was silenced, or stollen from, or used for sexual satisfaction or squashed by the bulldozer of “progress,” says, “Hey, this isn’t right!” they are further disrespected by discrediting criticism. Their pain is thought to be their own fault, a result of selfishness and their complaint may even be considered a form of betrayal. Typically the happy, pain free, perpetrator is not likely to sympathize with the pain of the one they have hurt. They simply replace the adage, “No pain, no problem,” with, “Your pain, your problem!” And they move on.