From: Daniel Lyons <dldeandan8@sbcglobal.net> Date: February 2, 2018 at 6:19:08 PM CST Subject: Our Mother, Grandmother Our mother went to be with the Lord on April 4, 2015. She lived over 86 years and we were extremely blessed by her long life. As she approached her mid-eighties her eyesight became poor, this meant that she could no longer cook or read. She had problems with orientation of where she was and what time it was, a mild form of dementia. For more than two years prior to her death she had trouble maintaining her weight. We will be ever grateful to Martha for moving in and caring for Mom during this time. Her weight improved after Martha moved in but she still did not have a healthy appetite. She tripped over a phone cord in her house and fell and broke her leg. She went into the hospital where they reset the bone, and then she was moved to rehabilitation. She was in rehabilitation three weeks and Dad decided to bring her home.
The decision to bring Mom home was not a family decision; this decision was made by her husband of 64 years. Tom was opposed to the decision to bring her home. He wanted her to stay in rehabilitation. This decision was not Tom’s to make. It wasn’t ours to make. We have spouses and children, and we have to make decisions regarding their health and well being. These decisions are difficult decisions; they can always be second guessed after the fact. Could our Mom have lived longer? Yes, with the medical technology available today she could have been kept alive. Is that what she wanted? No, she had made it clear long before, verbally and in writing that she did not want to be kept alive by artificial means, heaven would be just fine. Who spent more time with her than our Dad? Who knew our Mom better than our Dad? Once, the decision was made to bring our Mom home, Tom stepped back and was not as involved with Mom as he had been when she was in rehabilitation. During the two weeks prior to her death, we did - visit, sing and pray with our Mom. Martha, our wives, Patti and Teresa were over at the house assisting often, and many of our children visited also. Mom was happy to be home, but was looking forward to her eternal home, heaven. She was ready and wanted to go. Mom is in heaven and she’s fine, no more pain, no more forced feeding or forced exercises. She has a new body now.
Tom did not like the decision to bring her home. He called “Social Services.” They sent somebody out and they looked over her situation at home and were satisfied she was receiving good care. Months after her death a complaint was filed with the Orland ParkPolice Department. They came out and found nothing. Since then, Tom has continued to propagate that our Dad was culpable in her death. We also are said to be culpable in her death and were told by Tom that we did not love her, because we didn’t follow Tom’s direction. He has spoken or sent letters to us, our wives, deacons in our church and now to you. He is having a hard time finding people who agree with him.
This issue is no longer about Mom. Tom says it’s about love and truth. Love is a verb, that denotes action. Love was in action during the last two years of Mom’s life. Dad was there, Martha was there. Love was in action during rehabilitation; Dad was there, Tom was there, many of you were there. Love was in action in the last two weeks of her life, Dad was there, Martha was there, we were there, our wives and children were there. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Our father was not the only one that was involved with Mom, in her last days, her children and many of her grandchildren and multiple people from Ashburn Baptist Church, doctors, nurses, medical professionals and others who loved her. Tom believes there was a conspiracy to take the life of his mother. Tom questions the motives not just of his father but of all the rest of these people. Tom has said and written that he knows what the motives of his father, brothers and others were.
Above you have my version of the events. Tom has his own version of above events. Tom has an agenda to go along with his version of events. The agenda is to bring his father's name into dishonor and nullify his life's work, and this supposedly honors his mother. He forgets that his father's life work was also his mother's life work. This agenda is supposedly love and truth. If Tom knew his mother better, he would know that his father was loved and highly esteemed by his mother. When his father was attacked by people like him, Mother was the first to defend him, even when he wouldn't defend himself. She had tremendous loyalty to her husband. Tom’s agenda is not his mother's agenda.
This letter was not written to change Tom's mind or the path he has chosen. It is written to remind you that the spiritual legacy that we enjoy is from our Lord Jesus Christ and we have been blessed to have parents who thought that knowing Him was the most important thing in the world that they could pass on to us. Our mother is in heaven but our father, your grandfather is still with us. Our mother, your grandmother gave us many Scriptures to think about and meditate on, she would want us to follow the Bible's command and honor our father, your grandfather while he is still with us.
Sincerely,
Daniel Lyons