I’d like to tell you about a church that hundreds loved, but most have left. Ashburn Baptist had such community, like a family. For many it was better than their family. The fellowship was sweet, frequent and lengthy. Being at church 3, 4, maybe 5 times in the week was not a burden. Love for the Lord and one another was evident and sacrifice was spontaneous. This was how it was through the 1950’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. What happened that would motivate hundreds to leave over the next decade and beyond?
I‘m not going to pretend to know all the reasons people gave up sweet fellowship with close friends. Certainly some were for practical reasons like moving. But I think I can shed light on a fundamental cause for most who just couldn’t stay any longer.
Living in the same house as Pastor Lyons didn’t give me a different perspective from anyone else. In fact, he was pretty much the same at home as he was at church; dignified, disciplined and emotionally distant. And although for me nothing really changed over the years, I experienced a slow dawning of understanding that things weren’t right with my dad. All the exceptionalism had a negative motivation to it.
In my late twenties and early thirties it became more and more clear to me that my father was prideful and deceptively controlling. The examples were many and continuous that revealed it. I confronted him on a number of occasions, with responses that ranged from a quiet listening with a courteous “thank you” to an indignant rebuke. But after multiple times of challenging him to repent without any favorable response, my wife and I left Ashburn in 1994. In fact I was not the only one to confront my dad with his sin. I know of at least 4 leaders in the church that did the same. Sadly two church splits followed, yet still no humble self reflection or repentance.
Let’s leap forward 20 years. My relationship with my dad had remained consistent; cordial yet emotionally distant. I had come from seeing him as a man who always did what he thought was right, to seeing him as a man who thought what he did was always right. This can be best demonstrated with the following example.
In March of 2015 my mother had an unfortunate fall at home where she broke her upper femur. She had surgery at Palos Hospital and was transferred to Lexington in Orland Park for rehabilitation, which was expected to be at least three months. This challenge for my dad revealed who he really was and what motivates him ...and what doesn’t!
As I see it, my father’s greed, deceit, pride and selfishness influenced his choices that led to my mother’s death.
Read a brief summary here:
Because of his greed he had no health insurance and because of his greed he decided to bring my mother home to save money.
Find more details on greed here:
Because of his deceptive heart he pretended to respect the medical health professionals and because of his deception he made people believe he arranged for the needed professionals at home.
Details of his deceit:
Because of his pride he asked no one’s advise as to whether this move was reasonable and because of his pride he disregarded the doctors orders so he could do what he did.
Because of his selfishnes, he acted in a way that took risks that any caring and protective husband would not have taken and this self centeredness leaves him completely unconcerned for the tremendous heartbreak and relational wreckage his betrayal has caused his own children and grandchildren.
Details on his pride & unfaithfulness:
What should we say of a man who stands in a position of spiritual responsibility, yet is characterized by greed, deceit, pride and unfaithfulness? In Matthew chap. 7 Jesus said there would be false prophets that would be like wolves in sheep’s clothing. He said we would know them by their fruits; namely the fruit of doing what Jesus taught. Vernon Lyons preached the words of Christ but does not believe them enough to live them. He is not a sheep, but a wolf.
The reason people have had to leave Ashburn Baptist is my dad is a wolf in shepherd’s clothing. In the least case, people have been spiritually misled. But many were used, abused and discarded. The most alert fled, some to safety, but others to wander, with the danger of being devoured by other predators.
It is not helpful to anyone for us to avoid talking about this. The only one who benefits from the code of silence is the devil. He loves when those who know how he is operating don't clue in the more trusting about those who wear a disguise, because he works more by deception than strength. With a wolf, if you blow his cover, he has to run before he gets shot. If you don't, he can continue to prey upon the deceived.
I know you may not be convinced that my dad is a wolf. Maybe you think he just has a few issues that need to be addressed, some poor judgment, mistakes. You’d say, “We can’t know his heart.” I understand, from where you stand he looks like a sheep. But then I must ask you to explain how so many sheep have been wounded, killed and scattered under his watch? But more fundamentally, Jesus said we would know them by their fruits. Yes it’s hard. It took me decades to see. Mostly because so much of my own identity was wrapped up in who he was. As I allowed the Word and the Spirit to carry more weight than what I had been led to believe, I began to separate from what was not of God; freed to follow the True Shepherd. For your own neck and the spiritual safety of others, I encourage you to do the same. It’s not safe to be naive. Are you sure you’re following the True Shepherd? “My sheep hear my voice... and they follow Me...”
“Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;”
Ephesians 5:6-9, 11 NASB